Lost In Social Media

By David Tonen • April 5th, 2010

This is my first written blog post in over 5-months.  My last written post was October 27, 2009.

Five Months. Twenty seven weeks. One hundred and ninety days ago.

Over this time period I also refrained from active use of Twitter, Facebook, and other social media channels of our day.  I went cold-turkey – off the grid…because I had to.

Burnout

Without going into it in too much depth, I hit the wall, burnt the candle, fried a circuit.  Plain and simple I was exhausted.  I knew in September and October that I was really tired, but it wasn’t until I was placed on doctor sanctioned rest that the full realization of just how exhausted I really was.  I had suppressed a lot of exhaustion – and far further and deeper than I had even realized.  I was off work, off line, and essentially spent the first 6-8 weeks of the rest period sleeping.  Yes sleeping.  It even amazed me.  I slept 14-16 hours a day for weeks.  Thankfully, this really helped.  The crazy physical symptoms that manifested in my body in October began to subside and by Christmas I was about 50% of the way towards recovery.  My doctor continued the rest prescription and I remained on medical leave until March 8th, 2010 – 18 weeks!

The Social Gap

Through this season of recuperation I laid low.  I was silent.    I had plenty of support – from my family, close personal friends, and my church community.  The physical relationships were strong networks of support and healing.  I am very grateful for all those who compassionately poured into my life.

However, social media proved its weakness during this time for me.

My social media community is relatively small compared to many.  I have just over 200 friends on Facebook, 666 followers (ya, I know) on Twitter, and 71 subscribers to my blog.  A tight little online community.  Granted, I never specifically said anything about my plight.  But given the immediate and outright absence of posts and tweets, only one “follower” noticed.  Michael Holmes.  Michael sent me a couple direct and personal messages throughout my ordeal.  He noticed the silence.  He was paying attention.  He saw the “quiet on Twitter”.  He noticed the missing blog posts.  He was tuned in…and he responded.  I have never met Michael face-to-face.  Our entire friendship is in the pixels.  Yet Michael acted as a true friend.  Thanks Michael!

People Not Pixels

This is not meant as an indictment on my other friends and followers.  I know that I have failed others in the same way.  Social media loses the personal-connection amidst in the noise of distribution.  Social media’s primary benefit is for relaying and collation of information.  Sure, there are ways to deepen the relational-divide online.  Yet social media in its essence is best for keeping a social “tab” on people’s lives who you feel an informational connectivity with.  It is not a substitution for the real value of genuine community.  We are after all people, not pixels.  We are conversations not keyboard characters.  Sure we can post pictures, details, stories, and sagas.  All this is still limited and often drowned out in the rush and noise of the-online-life and can easily get lost in the “feed”.

Spring

With the dawn of spring I return refreshed, rested, rejuvenated, and restored.  I feel better physically, mentally, emotionally, and most importantly spiritually, than I have in years.  With great anticipation, I look forward to the dawn of a new season, new career, and new online influence.  I know personally that God has used the last 5-months to teach me alot about himself, myself, and my career.  This is the dawn of a new day and I spring forward on the adventure that will continue to unfold over the coming months.  For you my friends and followers…I appreciate you and I look forward to sharing new insights and perspectives on how churches can embrace technology and marketing tools to communicate with greater excellence and impact in our culture.

Please join me on the journey!

Image via Flickr: gfpeck

Comments(9) Blogging, Church Marketing, Facebook, Media, Social Media, Twitter, YouTube
  • http://www.brandonacox.com Brandon Cox

    David. Wow. I have found your post quite humbling and convicting. I wasn’t there. I noticed the absence but failed to ask about it. Open confession.

    It does make me think that all of us (starting with me) need to ask if we really know what we’re talking about when we call our online circle a “community.”

    It’s one thing to share tips and tricks, interesting, inspiring or entertaining links, and occasional mutually encouraging and promotional exchanges. But when the real stuff of real relationships happens, can we get personal and get involved?

    I apologize. In fact, I’ve even suffered similar difficulties as you, though not to the same extreme. Twice in the past year I’ve gotten so bogged down, so overwhelmed, and so over-stimulated with seemingly good stuff that I’ve taken slightly drastic measures to cut back. I didn’t say anything, as you have, but maybe we should all speak up a bit more.

    This is probably the longest comment I’ve ever left anywhere, but your posts strikes a chord in me that runs very deep. Thanks so much for bearing your heart here! I do hope to stay in touch and to say more than just “nice post.”

  • http://drayburn.wordpress.com Dusty Rayburn

    You do not know me. And I have never been to your blog before. I actually came by way of a tweet from Brandon Cox.

    As I read your post, I realized that what you were writing doesn’t just apply to the virtual world but to our daily lives. We need to pay attention and be serious about our community’s needs.

    Thank you for sharing this. I look forward to reading more from you.

  • http://navigateyourmarketing.com/ David Tonen

    @Brandon – Thanks for connecting and sharing part of your story. I battled with whether or not to “open up” today but I think we can all learn from this and become more in-tune with the people behind social media, which in turn will make our online communities stronger. I have always appreciated your “friendship”. We’ll definitely being staying more in touch!

    @ Dusty – Great to virtually meet you. You raise a great point. We all make the same mistakes with real hurting people in our circle of influence every day. Our culture, online or real-time, is so “busy” that it easy for us to get caught up in ourselves and not really notice the hurting people around us.

    Let’s all tune in more as we walk through each day. God wants us to!

  • http://www,raisetheeup.com Michael Holmes

    David,

    Thanks for the shout out!

    I was recently thinking about social media and the limits it has. I mean its great it many ways…but it can NEVER substitute the personal touch.

    But it has its merits: without it we wouldn’t have met. And so that alone makes the difference (not to sound TOOOOO sappy)!

    I’m glad you’re back!!

  • http://navigateyourmarketing.com/ David Tonen

    @Michael – I too am glad we have met (online). I look forward to the day we meet face-to-face. Sappy….never!

    Good to be back!

  • http://sunscheinpr.com Maureen Schein

    David,
    Since I was new to Twitter, and you, in January, I didn’t know any different. So glad you have recovered.
    We had to do a media “fast” for one of my classes. That experience was eye-opening! I also got my house cleaned up during that time. The Internet is a great thing, but it can be a black hole for time. I have decided I need to do a media fast more often – not just when assigned.
    God is good!

  • http://navigateyourmarketing.com/ David Tonen

    @Maureen – Thanks for sharing – yes, you have only “known” my social media tendencies during the “black-out”. Get ready…its gonna get chatty!

    Technology fasts are a great idea. I have done a couple as well (prior to this mandated one). It helps us keep perspective on living!

  • Brent O’Connor

    Hey David

    Glad to hear you are feeling better. I’ve spent a few weeks in bed over the last few years, and can relate. Thanks for being “real” about the struggle.

  • http://navigateyourmarketing.com/ David Tonen

    Thanks for the encouragement Brent. You are one of my long-time “in-person” friends. Just wish you lived a little closer!

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